Prelude
It’s simple to say the end, because after that it’s easy to know what to expect, blank pages, a publisher’s note, and a list of references no one ever bothers to research. So the question at hand is how do you start? The phrase “In the beginning” is more than cliche, it’s awful. Even third grade English teachers would beg for a different approach. So we are left with this void, what we as students know as the middle. Well in this story. The middle is an epidemic…..
No one wants to believe life is pointless, in fact, we are told goals to keep us heading in a direction programmed for an end—that is becoming more and more obsolete. So what is our motivation? Love? Why not? It’s the central theme behind every movie, song, poem, artwork, etc. We as people sculpt ourselves into what we would want from are counterpart, all the while being attracted, initially, by our opposites—paradox. The big question is….”what happens once you fall in love…what then?” Everyone writes about the great romancing and a chivalrous ploy to win the other person, and then the movie ends. Disney ends in “Happy Ever After”, romantic poems end in rhythmic bliss, but what about the rest of us hanging in limbo, between a dream and reality. I don’t want to sound bitter, or even a pessimistic. I just feel like saying what everyone else is thinking, which is, we go through this routine of making ourselves the best , only to look in the crowd of potential prospects to be let down, or fool ourselves with one of them and delay the disappointment or trick ourselves, only pausing the same reaction down the line. Half of the thrill is fantasy, filled with promises of grander and hope like the “Happy Ever After” will come. The other half is the void, hopefully one day filled with companionship. However the majority of the time a relationship is tedious work, with the large percentage of it being compromise (which is good) with the other person.
The heart discloses many facades of our reality. What we normally tolerate, the opinions and ideas we normally don’t consider, the general care of others is all open and fluctuated by the heart. With that said, it can be the biggest strength, and unfortunately, weakness, to even the most discipline mind. So how can you lose at your game? You tell yourself you have this standard for the person you’re going to be with, you want them to be a certain height, maybe exude a certain style, be articulate, yet when set in the game field, you change your own rules, customize to the nearest option rather than just waiting till the field presents a better? Then there is a tendency to get mad at the person for not living up to your imagination, when they showed you who they were from the start. Who’s to blame, the pot or the picker?
I feel like this, gay men are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that is not as good, but easy....... So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
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