Alex V.S. Jante'

For all those confused, my name is Alexander Jante' Moncrief. I feel I need to clarify the difference between the names I use, or names you hear people call me.




Alex is who everyone sees in the classroom. He is approachable, articulate, understanding, and patient. Alex is willing to head major projects and delegate tasks to classmates, co-workers, and others.He prefers business or business-casual attire. He usually is quite, more observant than anything, but when he speaks, he comes with facts and positions that hold foundation. Alex is located in workspaces such as State Farm, working with the Google Android Phone, etc. he is professional, prompt, and respectful.



Jante' is the other guy. He is more emotional than logical. He can be found being the life of the party, dancing, cracking jokes, and somewhat aggressive. He is less-likely-if at all-to care how you feel, and willing to give you facts-good, bad, or indifferent-and walk away from you like nothing has even happened. He prefers more abstract and urban wear. He is very protective of those he cares for, although it is hard to get close to him. Once you are in with him, you are in forever. He tolerates little and eliminates pretenders. Jante' has sense, but doesn't bend.

Both of them reside within me. Now you know. And if you still don't, you betta ask somebody....because EVERYONE wants a gentlemen in public, and...hahaha, something else in private.

K.Tyler Series Vol.1 - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 : Deeper Into Kennedy

I am the traditional Aquarius: Friendly and humanitarian, honest and loyal, original and inventive, independent and intellectual, on the dark side, intractable and contrary, perverse and unpredictable, and unemotional and detached. Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. We fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as we seek truth above all things, we are usually honest enough to change our opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades us that we have been mistaken. We have a breath of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take.

Consequently we are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because we can see the validity of the argument, even if we do not accept it ourselves. But once we decide that someone is worthy of our friendship or love, we can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will ourselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for our partners and be faithful to them for life.

That is my problem, if only Kennedy Tyler, can fall in love with Kennedy Tyler, I would have it together. I am learning to never make someone a priority that only considers me an option, and never consider myself an option when I’m more than an important decision.

Random criticism I have received would be statements such as, “You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.” Others have said “You have no patience for flirting and can’t be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person.” Some girls have said, “Kennedy you often don’t get hints & you hardly ever pass any to someone else. Brains turn you on.” In that sense, I can honestly say they have truth. I must feel that my partner is intellectually stimulating; otherwise I will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. I require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that I’m being appreciated. Roy says “My mate’s physical attractiveness is important for me. I tend to be very practical, & not very emotional your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. I am very self satisfied & egoistic.”

Richland Reunion

Richland Grade School *J.R. High Years*



So we had a get together at the pizza place a few days ago and it was really interesting seeing old faces in new times. It really made me think of how we look and treat people now. For instance, people you may see daily, co-workers, college students, etc, how do you view them.



We had a discussion while we were there, and one of the topics that was brought up was where was everyone currently in their lives, and was it any different than our expectations in jr. high. Honestly, no one was surprised about some, there was the jr.high queen who is now fully flamboyant. The jr.high "slut" or "tease" now had a four year old, and going through a divorce, the outdoors guy is now majoring in Forestry. Our profile of them back them kind-of fit.




So is it right to judge a book by it's cover these days? Is it right, even when you have a pretty good idea of the book's description due to the back cover.....? Also am i just a lame, because everyone at the reunion -except a few of us- either drinks, smokes, has a tattoo, or a piercing and I don't smoke, don't like to drink, and no tatts nor piercings?




Food for thought....

K.Tyler Series Vol. 1 - Chapter 5

Chapter 5 : JJ

Jackson Johnson (JJ for short) is a free spirit. He and Blake share similar qualities. JJ is like the little kid in the circle. He lifts your spirits, entertains, and sometimes can annoy you, but is valued when he is around. He likes to have fun as well. He is the more experienced in certain areas—guys—so when issues come up, I have a tendency to get his outlook on situations because he has knowledge to pull form. As a matter of fact, Blake and JJ have a lot to offer in advice, and they both seem to be very protective of the more naive ones—Roy and I—when it comes to relationships.

Jackson’s motto is live life and the rest will fall into place. He is the spontaneous piece of the puzzle. He wants to enjoy his surroundings. He likes to “meet and greet” and explore new social networks. I learn about new people thanks to Jackson’s networks. He is a social butterfly. On the surface he loves to be the life of the party, enjoy being young, and party. However, Jackson has started to realize there is more to life than parties, sex, and drinks; there are morals, goals, and credit to establish and create. Jackson would be Roy’s and I opposite, meaning we try and push Jackson to focus on books and school, and he tries to teach us how to live. It is the constant ying-yang, push-pull relationship.

My dear, dear friend Jackson is uncovering the core essentials to life, and in his dig, Roy, Nina, Blake, and I may be able to be influences to show him that there can be a balance between fun and work, public and private, and social and enclosed. With influences like us maybe Jackson can be inspired to settle down and mature even more than he is currently and jump on the right track…maybe.

K.Tyler Series Vol.1 - Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Nina Dales

Nina Dales is an abstract idealist with no connection to real world experiences, yet has deep philosophy that can strike the core of any coma patient. She is the one who is present at the majority of the adventures Roy and I encounter, but she still—amazingly—remains indifferent. She does not have any personal experiences of her own, but can strike the very essence of a person with comments—sarcastic, of course—and quotes that would just make one think. Her outer appearance would not prepare one for the madness that leaves her mind and comes out of her mouth. Case and point, one of her quotes is “Nina thinks that becoming barren isn't all that bad, when you take a serious look around. The only hope is that your kid might change the world and 'Slim Odds' racks up at the Understatements of the Year Awards.” Do you see what I mean? She is funny though. She sharpness her words and cuts a person like a knife, and they are unaware they’ve been penetrated until they see the wound—probably a laughing crowd of Roy and I.

Nina’s Quote Segment:

"Grey is the new black and off-white is what you should wear to your wedding. (Or what I like to call 'the post sign that over half of people will follow to resentment).

"When people deny their sexuality that merely brings sex to the forefront of our consciousnesses. When you wear a purity ring on your finger, I can only think about where (or where not) those fingers are straying."

"Given the low quality of your competition, I'm not all that impressed with your victory. But...congratulations anyway."

"There's a reason why your past isn't your present. Remember that when you get the urge to face it."

"A dream is a unicorn. A goal is a white horse with a golden horn glued to its head and glitter sprinkled on it."

"You don't want me to buck up. It is my pessimism that convinces me in the end that I can't get away with most of the shit I contemplate about."

“Nina took a great deal more of your bull than normal because for the past few weeks, she's been in a dark place. But the storm's breaking, sweetheart. Watch yourself...”

"Don't be surprised. The only secure job now would be telling people that they're fired in such a way that they disregard returning the next day to blow up your shit."
She is conflicted however, it is the inner battle of trying things that are new, foreign, or different that ties her up. Nina is a true southern belle to the roots. Simplicity is her policy. If there is no push behind her, she sees no reason to change, that can be more harmful than beneficial, and for the record I am not unyielding to the pros of that statement, I am just stating the reality. I had to clarify, because I can imagine Nina retaliating on that point alone; she is just that type of person. Nina sticks to her values through and through. She values family, friends, and personal sanity. Her sanity is her happiness, and everything else falls secondary.

My dear, dear friend Nina cripples her own growth and potential because of her fear of the unknown. Her policy is to assume the worst will happen that way there are no surprises and anything else that happens is delightful. If Roy or I could open her eyes more to the broader picture, she may be more optimistic…maybe.

K.Tyler Series Vol. 1 - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 : Roy Harp

Roy Harp is to the right. To the right, meaning if there was a poor soul walking around screaming pro-choice, he’d mount the highway bridge along the D.C. sniper and pierce the core of the liberal protestor—who probably was raped by her father and forced to carry out the pregnancy—and would feel he had done the world justice, by “saving a life”, irony. Roy has an inner wall of knowledge and self-confidence surrounding his heart. Those on the outside of the wall would find it lined with small grenades and promises of anguish, with no top of the wall insight. He holds dreams of finding a companion, however, is plagued with the same misery I hold, lack of capability on an educational, goal-oriented, financial, and physical level. Dreams of having peace and calmness within his life, dance just outside of his reach. He has a lot to offer and is willing to adjust to a person’s accommodations, in the event, that individual brings something heavy to the relationship table. Sad, how we as people are willing to take a little when we want a lot, and receive a little with open arms because we “felt” we had nothing in the beginning, and then we realize we had more at the start then what we ended up with once we are in the relationship.

In any particular situation, at any given time, right and wrong may blend or adjust as Roy sees fit, never mind the occasion, to justify the means he will alter reality to fit his perception. His great political answers on the front-end are presentable, precise, and believable-to those who do not know how to listen. Given the chance, Roy could sell you out of your house, job, and man, with a smile on his face and your blessing behind him. It is the mind of a thief and the appearance of a child that makes his presence so menacing. Let me not fool you, Roy is a great person, to those in which he cares for, however, he (or she) that falls short of the line of care, will see nothing more than an arrogant, elitist bent on harvesting political power and retaining no attachment to the rest of the world.

My dear, dear friend Roy has no idea how to handle emotion. Emotion for Roy is the greased pig on a summer’s day, the rainbow’s end, and the fountain of youth; all uncatchable, intangible, and unrealistic. If Nina or I could open his emotional flood gates, he may be able to “feel” thereby, care for people and value those relationships more…maybe.

K.Tyler Series Vol. 1 - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 : Blake Cunningham

Blake Cunningham, life-long friend and ally, is less than shy when it comes to pursuing what he desires. If it’s light-skinned, petite, and flamboyant, Blake is drawn to it like flames to free condoms and lube. Not to just throw his will and better judgment to the east wind, Blake has found—let’s just say—firmer ground through the years. In my knowledge and years of child-hood, I have never known Blake to try to take anything too seriously. It has grown more particular as the years have rolled, that Blake is on never ending quest to obtain a reflection of himself; the question would be would he disregard the mirrored flaws and take in the good or will he throw the same stones at that person everyone else throws and ironically hitting himself in recoil.

Blake is an optimist. He feels that things—no matter the situation—are on the up and up. He is more trusting in people than any other person in the group. For instance, Blake is willing to go to a birthday party of a person that he used to date with the person he is currently talking to. The rest of us would instantly shield away from such drama, but not Blake, he looks at the situation as an opportunity of enjoyment, an atmosphere of people with similar interest, food, and entertainment. The rest of us would zone and focus on the fact that this simple bitch who is staring at my man. That is just what separates us, yet, makes us a team.

He just wants to have fun, plain and simple. Any factor hindering that goal, is usually cut out of the picture, whether it be a person he is currently dating, a situation, a job, etc, will usually not last. He does not like the ball and chain feeling. Not saying Blake is opposed to a relationship, but if the person is more of a burden than an uplifting spirit, then that person inherits a short shelf life.

If Blake’s eye could be open to a more discipline reality, maybe he would take things more serious. He has a playful heart, but sometimes that is the very factor that cripples him. His trust in people can be warming like a heath fire, or burn him like a California wildfire. Maybe with a more cautious view, he would avoid a lot more drama…maybe.

K.Tyler Series Vol. 1 - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 : Kennedy

My name is Kennedy Tyler, formerly known to everyone as the one half of a great relationship. “Doubt the sun rising tomorrow, doubt the stars shining, doubt the progression of time through the ages, but never doubt my love,” was the dream I was sold. Unfortunately there was no receipt or warranty upon this purchase. The fine print didn’t warn me on the ending of the relationship. Every love story does not have to be an epic novel, some are short stories, but what do the characters do, between the original story and the hopeful promise of a sequel. That is the empty place in which I lie. I am fully aware of the song and dance random relationships—found in someone’s lonely night club—promise. Also, I am knowledgeable of the short-lived joy usually followed by long-term regret. What to do in the meanwhile? My friends, Roy Harp and Nina Dales, offer satisfaction from the dilute shallowness the majority offer. My intellect is entertained, however, not fulfilled. My great friend, Jackson Johnson, would tell me to get a hold of myself and stop dwelling in my current position.

My overall view on things does not allow me to settle merely on the physical gifts the surrounding spirits may offer. So the heart battles the brain, the head upon the shoulders battles the head down below, the knowing battles the curious, and time continues to run. My best friend growing up, Blake Cunningham would try and get me to explore the fantasy promised by fiction.

“Come on Kennedy, I know a lot of people that would really like you.” He would say.

Yes, of course, they would like me, because I was the one that needed to prove myself worthy for them-sarcasm. The truth of it all, is they had nothing to offer, and usually took more than they could ever give in a relationship. I’ve come to realize that the only way to win the game relationships bring is to stop playing. I go back and forth wondering, “If I stop letting people in, how would I find what I want?” My filtering process would strain out everyone. Confusion and frustration is often what I am left with. Oh god! I am drowning within my own expectations, with no sign of a life guard, or even a flotation device. Is it truly better “To have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?” What the hell was the man who said that quote, Tennyson, thinking? What complications did he go through in life to justify such mockery? If truth be told, ignorance—although it can make one look foolish by others—can be bliss. It is similar to the scenario of having a paper cut upon the finger, and it never aching until it is seen.

I AM TORN; I AM LOST within my own madness. How can one’s soul become soothed when the foundation is barely held together? Perhaps it is me and the ripple of my steps, the audacity of my smile, the peculiarity of my sight, or the longevity of my style. Or it could be the length of my stride, the assurance of my path, the awkwardness of my vision, or the articulation of my words…

I believe I have a need for other people to like and admire me, and yet I tend to be critical of myself. While I have some personality weaknesses I am generally able to compensate for them. I think I have considerable unused capacity that I have not turned to my advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, I tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times I have serious doubts as to whether I have made the right decision or done the right thing. I prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. Also, I pride myself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But I have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing myself to others. At times I am extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times I am introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of my aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.

In order to establish some type of sense of what makes me…me, I, Kennedy Tyler, have decided to look at my own views, constructively. My mouth trims upward at the thought of me trying to revolutionize myself. I guess there is a portion of me that believes if I can dictate how I see others and outside situations can help me understand my genre of thought processes, thereby helping me—in the long run—know confidentially what type of person I want to be with. Since my last relationship, I’m starting to question my own observation and perspective. Of course, I can sell the qualities I am looking for within an individual, but once spoken out loud, they sound a bit unrealistic. So I am on a voyage to understand Kennedy.

K.Tyler Series Vol 1. - Prelude

Prelude

It’s simple to say the end, because after that it’s easy to know what to expect, blank pages, a publisher’s note, and a list of references no one ever bothers to research. So the question at hand is how do you start? The phrase “In the beginning” is more than cliche, it’s awful. Even third grade English teachers would beg for a different approach. So we are left with this void, what we as students know as the middle. Well in this story. The middle is an epidemic…..
No one wants to believe life is pointless, in fact, we are told goals to keep us heading in a direction programmed for an end—that is becoming more and more obsolete. So what is our motivation? Love? Why not? It’s the central theme behind every movie, song, poem, artwork, etc. We as people sculpt ourselves into what we would want from are counterpart, all the while being attracted, initially, by our opposites—paradox. The big question is….”what happens once you fall in love…what then?” Everyone writes about the great romancing and a chivalrous ploy to win the other person, and then the movie ends. Disney ends in “Happy Ever After”, romantic poems end in rhythmic bliss, but what about the rest of us hanging in limbo, between a dream and reality. I don’t want to sound bitter, or even a pessimistic. I just feel like saying what everyone else is thinking, which is, we go through this routine of making ourselves the best , only to look in the crowd of potential prospects to be let down, or fool ourselves with one of them and delay the disappointment or trick ourselves, only pausing the same reaction down the line. Half of the thrill is fantasy, filled with promises of grander and hope like the “Happy Ever After” will come. The other half is the void, hopefully one day filled with companionship. However the majority of the time a relationship is tedious work, with the large percentage of it being compromise (which is good) with the other person.

The heart discloses many facades of our reality. What we normally tolerate, the opinions and ideas we normally don’t consider, the general care of others is all open and fluctuated by the heart. With that said, it can be the biggest strength, and unfortunately, weakness, to even the most discipline mind. So how can you lose at your game? You tell yourself you have this standard for the person you’re going to be with, you want them to be a certain height, maybe exude a certain style, be articulate, yet when set in the game field, you change your own rules, customize to the nearest option rather than just waiting till the field presents a better? Then there is a tendency to get mad at the person for not living up to your imagination, when they showed you who they were from the start. Who’s to blame, the pot or the picker?

I feel like this, gay men are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that is not as good, but easy....... So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Artifically Real - K.Tyler Series Vol. 1

Artificially Real - K.Tyler Series Vol. 1

For Starters....

Starting

I'm going to start posting my trilogy on my blog and hopefully get some constructive feedback... stayed tuned